Over and over again we see some of the same questions out there for moms who have recently discovered they will become Baby Bunchers. So we thought we'd give you the 411 on Baby Bunching basics in one post. We'll provide links to more lengthy discussions, but this should provide everyone your basic tips for two under two. Please, please chime in with more.
1. Learn to let it go. That means everything, although do try to keep some sanity around. No matter how Type A you were before children or even after your first with naptime, mealtime, etc., you will eventually have to give up some of that need to control. Don't get us wrong, Type A qualities are excellent for organizing your crew and getting everyone out and about successfully, but you will eventually have to learn when to cut your losses, what battles to choose and when to just throw up your hands and give in to power of children.
2. It's OK for someone to cry. This could mean your toddler, your baby or even you. It's really OK for someone to cry. You will learn this about two weeks after your second baby is born. (FYI in case you forget....that's when they actually wake up!) Someone will be crying and if you're super lucky, someone might be crying/fussing all the time. Just learn to like the sound or get some earplugs.
3. Learn to be flexible. Things will change and you'll constantly need to reassess situations. As soon as you figure out how to get everyone to the grocery store, some major baby milestone will change your perfect routine. You must learn to reassess and readjust quickly.
4. Enlist help now. That means whatever you need it to mean for your family. If you can call in grandma for 6 weeks to help, DO IT! If you have a million friends volunteering to take your toddler, DO IT! (We promise your toddler won't care. He'll love the attention.) If you have friends wanting to bring you dinner, TAKE IT! Baby Bunching is not about being a martyr. You will have plenty of time to return the favors, take the help now.
5. Gear (double stroller, high chair, monitor, baby wrap/carrier). If your friends/family have offered to throw a baby shower after you just had your other baby (why wouldn't they, they love you), here are a few things you might suggest: double stroller, a high chair (see our recs), a second monitor, and some kind of way to wear your baby, whether it's a wrap, sling, or carrier. You won't need a ton of gear, but these are either must haves or nice to haves. See if you can borrow a second crib so you don't have to buy another.
6. One-on-one time with either child. This will change quite a bit. In the beginning, obviously your baby will eat up most of your time. But remember besides eating and sleeping, they are good for a good while. So use the early days, weeks to spend with your toddler. As the kids get older, you will have to remember it's quality time and not quantity. There is no way you can spend tons of time with each kid during the first few years. If it means a lunch out with mom with your two-year old alone, that is a good effort.
7. Stations everywhere. You will have baby/toddler crap all over your house. Embrace it and organize it. Think like a preschool teacher and have like items together and labeled if that helps. Why label? Because it makes dad, babysitter, grandma, you put it back where it belongs so you can find it quickly. Have a diaper station on every floor of your home. Put tooth brushes at every sink. Keep socks near the door, in the car and in the drawers.
8. Don't forget your hubby. You need him for this. Even if he travels all the time, you need the moral support. Get him involved and make him an active player in some way. And even if you can't find a babysitter, make a collective effort forsome kind of date night once every few weeks so you don't lose each other.
9. When life gets rough, go outside. It's amazing what fresh air and a change of scenery will do for you and your Bunch. Even if it means a stroll around the block, a trip to the playground or just taking lunch out into the back yard, bad times can turn better with fresh air.
10. Don't go it alone. There are more Baby Bunching moms out there than you think. Hit the playgrounds, indoor gyms, local mom's groups and build up your momtourage of Baby Bunchers. Misery wants company and it's great to have these gals on your team!
This weekend Im going to work on #9. Theres no reason why this wouldnt be helpful already with just Brooklyn. :)
