"Id kinda rather stay in the car, Mom"

The other day I loaded up the kids after breakfast & headed down to the local Drive-thru Starbucks.

I glanced in my rear view and noticed Brooklyn quietly reading a book to herself & saw Dayton had fallen asleep with the vibrations of the car.

We had the most quiet pleasant trip to get coffee. When we pulled back into the driveway Kalina looked over at me and said "Id kinda rather stay in the car, Mom."

"I hear ya Lina - I hear ya." I replied to Kalina and proceeded to make one more wonderfully peaceful loop around the neighborhood. ;)

Post-Partum - Week 5

Im slowly but surely making my way back to reality. I love it - I almost feel like me again!

Life with 2 under 2 plus a big kid:

Dayton is a stud - Hes growing and eating and growing some more. Last time we took him in for a check up (2 weeks) he was 9lbs ~ up 2 lbs from his birthweight! We're following our pedi's orders as best as possible to avoid crowds with the Pertussis outbreak but its hard as we both have large families and can only be confined to the house for so long. For the most part though - we're home & staying healthy.

Week 1 & 2 for Brooklyn was tough. Brooklyn was showing some obvious regression and acting out as expected but I must say it only took a couple weeks to notice she was back to her normal crazy self. She loves on him like there is no tomorrow and melts our heart when she says "HI DAYYYNE~! Love you." *sigh* Theres nothing else as sweet, I tell ya. Ive taken advice from other moms & fine tuned my multitasking skills to include breastfeeding him & just about anything else you can think of; short of changing her diapers. :P

The 'big kid' part is where we are infinitely blessed. Kalina is an amazing sister and daughter. She helps a ton and seems to truly love her role as 'Big Sis'. Shes a busy sister with chores, soccer practice and getting ready for 6th grade.

Breast-feeding:

I dont know why I thought that just because it was my third time it would be a walk in the park. It wasnt. I had issues from the get. I was sore up until week 4 and after getting a great reccomendation for the Day One Center I learned a had some easy to fix issues (... but issues for sure.)

Now at week 5 Id say its going well. There is no more pain, his latch is much better, hes choking less, and feeding sessions are quicker. Sometimes hes done in 10 minutes! Im gearing up for the 6 week growth spurt and expecting all hell to break loose.

Sleep:

... or lack there of. Brooklyn & Kalina are sleeping the same. Thank. God. Dayton is working his way up to 3-3.5 hour stretches. This feels like an eternity compared to the 1.5-2 hour stretches we've been doing. Its all pretty textbook though.

Some nights, David takes him around 7-730pm, after we put brooklyn down & lets me sleep until 10 or 11 ... one night he fed him a bottle and I was able to sleep until midnight. Let me tell you - those 4 hours made me feel like a new woman.

I drink a coffee a day and without it I would not be deemed safe to leave the house (not that I do that too often these days anyways).

Me:

I feel like the newborn part is easy this time around. Then again, It hasnt been that long since I last had a newborn. The hard part is sticking to the low expectations. I cannot expect much from myself with 2 babies. Some days I consider it a good day when all Ive done is not lose my cool - other days Im able to shower, pick up the house a bit, make a trip to the library and even still feed my kids and myself. Those are good days and I remind myself that even the worst of days involve little sleep, lots of milk production for the little one and then much patience production for the tantrum wielding toddler - not too shabby if you ask me.

Emotionally I was a wreck the first couple weeks. Having lost my grandma within days of having the baby, I felt like I was in a fog and cried often. Hormonally this was to be expected regardless of the circumstances. I was prepared for it this time and reminded myself it was temporary ... at least the hormonal part of it.

Physically I feel great. Nothing like childbirth to cure the waddles, sciatica woes, sleeping challenges, and so much more. The recovery was a lot easier this time around. But in exchange for these gorgeous babies of mine I get Nat-Geo ta-tas, a pudgey abdomen & major bags under my eyes ... I still say its a small price to pay.

David is a huge help to me and has stepped up in ways I didnt expect. Ive found him working as hard as I am and enjoying it more than I imagined he would. Parenting consumes us right now. Theres little left over at the end of the day ~ but once again we try to remind ourselves that this is temporary. Well in some respects anyway.

All in All:

I cant believe we were blessed with another little person. I try to keep my neurosis in check so that I can enjoy it all - instead of freaking out over our unkept house, our piles (upon piles) of unfolded laundry or rarely leaving the house. I also try to nap whenever I get a chance ~ or whenever David 'encourages' me to. He says we're all happier when I've gotten rest and I tend to believe that.

ps. I found good use for the pudgy abs anyways ...

Zombie-land

Im living somewhere in an alternate reality - almost a zombie-like state - where your brain goes into auto-pilot. Im absolutely useless most days when it comes to anything I used to be perfectly capable of; paying bills, remembering things, holding a CONVERSATION. My main concerns are to not lose a child or my sanity completely. (as if these are uncharted waters right??) Most days Im covered in baby spit up or projectile poo. Im perpetually sweating - either from the milk production or trying to keep my germy 20 mos old from coughing on my newborn, Im not sure.

I remember when the Pediatrician told me my only goal the first year with 2 under 2 should be to survive. Ha. If only I had known then that he wasnt joking.

I checked in with mommy-friends and was assured that around 2-3 weeks you start feeling normal again. Im starting the countdown and hoping to be back to semi-normal in about 3 days ... Give or take a year.

Post-Partum Poll - Week 1

How far along were you when you had your baby? 39 weeks 3 days.
How long was labor? 2 hours, 11 min (starting from when they broke water & contractions started to get uncomf.)
Total weight gain: ~35 pounds
Total weight loss since: 10 lbs
Back into your own clothes yet? havent even tried.
Did you get stretch marks? one lovely stretch mark
Did you deliver vaginally or by c-section? Vaginally
Best moment this week: Watching my girls embrace their role as sisters. There have been moments of bliss amidst the chaos & diapers that make my heart swell.
What I miss about being pregnant: Nothing yet.
How big is baby: He was 7lbs even when we came home.
Baby's temperament? So far hes very sleepy. Hes also a bit of a lazy eater - I cant get him to nurse on both sides without falling asleep, which makes for a very lopsided mommy.
What I am looking forward to: SO MUCH! Mostly getting the hang of having 3. Then smiles and laughs and seeing his personality & seeing him interact with the family.

My Life

More about my Induction

These are a few more things I want to share about being induced:

~ I was petrified at the thought. I was so scared that I too would end up epi'd, with stalled labor, and eventually in a c-section. This fear helped me focus my energy into each contraction - visualizing him being pushed lower into my cervix.

~ They dont mess around when it comes to that stuff - she hooked it up and up'd it every 30 minutes. 30 minutes goes by insanely fast when youre focusing on getting through contractions. Whats worse is that the machine was tormenting me with every measured dose it made a little squeaky noise as if to say, "oh yeah - you think youre tough???"

~ When I was first being hooked up by the charge nurse I said "Have you ever seen medfree inductions?" She paused and said, "uhhm, yeah. Yeah, I have." Then she paused again and said, " but then again Ive been here 45 years so Ive seen a lot of things." Needless to say I wasnt feeling incredibly encouraged.

~ The morning after my OB came in to check in with us. She was great. This was the first time that I was delivered by the same OB I had been seeing at all my prenatal appointments. It was very comforting. The next morning she said, "So what did you think? That pitocin is pretty good stuff, huh?" Im still not sure if she was joking. I had expressed my concern early on about doing an induction and not wanted to end up in a c-section. I laughed lightly at her comment although it still makes me shiver thinking about that noise the machine made each time it sent a dose through my IV.

Baby #3's Birth Story: Dayton James

On Saturday July 3rd around 930pm David & I had my mom come over and we headed down to L&D with our bags in tow. I wasnt sure of my progress but was determined to have time for pain management as well as a 4th of July baby.

They hooked me up to the monitor to learn that I was contracting every 8 minutes but was only dilated to 2cm & 50% effaced. After about an hour and half they sent me home.

That next morning I tried several self-induction techniques including but not limited to: bouncing on my yoga ball, a brisk walk, a ride in the mustang, walked some more and bounced some more.

Around 130pm I told David we should go down to L&D again. He agreed and we left the girls with my mom & brother. I was pretty sure we would be sent home again but figured it was worth a try.

Ive said this a million times, and I know its probably getting annoying, but I labor very fast. My first delivery was 4.5 hours and second was around 3.5 hours. This time I was determined to get a head start and have a chance to 'manage' my pain. I wasnt convinced that I wanted to go natural this time around, though I had with the previous two.

So heres how the day went:

130pm - Checked in stating I was in labor, was hooked up to the monitors & told I was contracting every 4 minutes and was now 4cm dilated. .... 4CM?.?!? At that moment, I knew they would keep me. My OB turned to the charge nurse and told her "We're having a baby today!" They continued to monitor me while we waited on antibiotics for GBS.

Our room couldnt have had a better view for the fireworks show to come! I couldnt believe it ~ I had planned for exactly this!

330pm - Being GBS+ I was hooked up to the antibiotics. David & I sat and chatted and watched tv. It was the complete and polar opposite of the last delivery. While I could feel the contractions I wouldnt have rated them as anything more than slightly uncomfortable.

I filled out the paperwork for the epidural and told the nurse that I would let her know when I was ready for it. Like I said, I was not committed this time to a natural birth - in fact, I felt like pain management in the form of an epidural sounded dreamy. That pain - that FIREY pain - was still very fresh in my mind from Brooklyns birth.

5pm - My OB came back in and broke my water. Within minutes my contractions increased in intensity, although they were still managable.

530pm - My OB ordered the nurses to start pitocin.

6pm - By this time my contractions started coming on much stronger. I had to breathe deeply through each contraction. David helped me monitor when one was coming and ending. He rubbed my legs and reminded me to focus on Strawberry Pancakes. Sounds absolutely ridiculous but, what can I say, Im motivated by food. He also reminded me of sweet things our girls do that make me smile. Like when Im trying to discipline Brooklyn and she says "HI MAMA!" with a sweet little smile or how happy Kalina gets when we say yes to swimming!

This labor was entirely different than the other two. I felt like I was able to concentrate on getting through each contraction. I was able to breathe and let my body do what it was trying to do. I didnt fight the pain - I let each contraction do the work it was trying to do. This feel ridiculous to type but I felt like each contraction was purposeful - where as with Brooklyn I felt like I wanted to get as far out of my body as possible.

630pm - I was now contracting every 2.5 minutes and they were quite strong. I didnt want to hear David talking, didnt want to be touched - I could only breathe deeply and visualize the pancakes. ;0) (seems funny to me now - but it was no laughing matter at the time).

Between contractions I asked the nurse if she would check me. David & I had a plan - If I was at least 6-7cm I would get the epi. Otherwise I would continue to labor for a while longer. The nurse informed me that they were getting ready to do a shift change and that the new nurse would check me at 7pm.

645pm - My mom showed up sooner than expected. She was going to come after putting Brooklyn to sleep at 7pm. Apparently David texted her telling her to come ASAP. Hes a smart man, I tell ya.

She asked if they had checked me - which they still had not due to the shift change.

~655pm - With that next contraction I felt tremendous pain and a gush of fluids. I was certain the baby was coming and quickly at that. The pressure was intense to put it lightly and I grabbed the handles on the bed. This pain was all too familiar.

David ran out of the room to alert the nurses and my mom came close to me to remind me to breathe. Several nurses ran in - one checked me and confirmed that I was completely dilated and at a +2 station. I knew what this meant; this meant that it was already time to push. Which also meant - no time for epidural.

"What>@?! How did this happen??" I thought. "It cant be ... can it!? OOOOHHHHH SH****"

Although I was technically contracting when I arrived I wouldnt say labor started until 5 or even 530 when the pitocin was started. I couldnt fathom a 2 hour birth.

The nurses were swirling around me breaking down the bed and setting everything up. My husband and mother were on each side of me saying everything I needed to hear, reminding me to breathe, telling me I could do it.

Then my OB walked back in and told me, "Listen to me Jessica - don't scream. This is what youre going to do: Hold your breath like youre going under water, tuck your chin and push."

711pm - I did just that and felt the entire birth of my son - I felt every bit of it with one contraction and 2 pushes he was delivered. It was the worst, but shortest, most purposeful pain Ive ever felt in my entire life. He was perfect, he was warm, ... he is amazing. An absolute gift from God.

Ten fingers, ten toes and mine, all mine. :)

When I realized they were really checking me in:

Successful Delivery #2 (#3 for me):

Gramma & Big Sis:

Strawberry Pancakes (I wasnt joking):

The window we watch fireworks from after the delivery: